REGRET

Its clawing on the insides growing like a black hole.
All light seems to vanish - a gaping darkness.
Every second takes the breath away from this body,
how do I deal with my regret?
The meaning is lost now that I have lost your guidance.
I should have said the important things.
Does it hurt this way all the time?
Why are the tears not running dry, as they always say?
Numbness is all I can feel, is it a feeling at all?
My mind in a frenzy, the past and the future broken to pieces.

I hoped so much, waited for the right time,
now the time is lost like the sun at the end of day.
"It will get better", I have heard that once too many.
Every breathe of mine feels the emptiness.
So far away you had been, I was too young,
but the meaning was still there.
Did I ever tell you that I wanted you in my future?
Did I say that I wanted you happy?
A glorious picture I had created,
now lost in the sands of time, its a hazy memory.
The piercing pain is a reminder,
I have become a walking cliche-

I think I can see you in the night stars,
you shine the brightest for me.
The flashes of that future cross my mind,
why won't the wetness on my face dry?
Is there a heaven or hell?
I know where you will be.
Are you still watching over us like you used to?
Am I still blessed by you?
I hope you find your peace and calm,
all that you missed here.
Be happy where you are and
remember that is all I want.
I wish I had seen you before...
now I will carry this regret forever.
I can't let go, I won't.
This reminder will stay 
for as long as I am here.

This time, time will not pass,
your memory will remain 
in perpetuity.