May 15, 2013

Steps




A deep breath and a silent pause. Time stands still, anticipation roars in my ears. Seconds pass as if hours, the wait is excruciating. The moment before the start, the moment of decision, of nerves and of fear. The second to succumb or to overcome what lies ahead. A path straight or curved, an end found or lost. Then the second passes by and the overwhelming reality crashes like waves, powerful and endless. You feel small; the enormity swings you as a puppet on 
 strings. Your body works on automatic, mind in a whirlwind. Floundering beneath the surface. A push to take control, putting the right in front of the left. The effort is enormous as seems every advance. Another shove tries to pull you down, trembling legs  struggling for a grip in the slippery sand. The wobble gives way to stable steps. The tread turns to stride to a run. A surge of speed, quickening of breath, a feeling of elation glowing in my breast. A world in passing, a life in momentum. A burst of life, a support, a hand to hold. I hear identical steps; I feel them beside me not overtaking but aligned to mine. Distances travelled, marks made, memories created. This course is coming to an end; I see the finish line ahead. Flashes of the race, a blur behind my eyes. A desire to restart burns in my heart. But now I am here, the moment before the end. A second of eternity passes. A deep breath and a silent pause.