Street

Walking down the empty street the thought of something amiss never crossed her mind. She had a destination to reach and she couldn’t do with any distractions. Quickening her steps in fear of getting late she took another right turn only to face a mysterious person standing in the street.

Usually a dark night and a stranger would only bring fear into the mind of a woman travelling alone. But somehow she felt no fear not even a little bit of suspicion on why he was standing there. The only thing that bothered her was the extreme silence that had descended as soon as she had taken the turn. Even with the street lights the darkness seemed more oppressing like it was trying to push her into a cage.

Not wanting to stay and invite any kind of trouble she started walking. Keeping one eye on the guy she quickly made her through the street. The stranger did not move an inch and she was smart enough to not ask why. As soon she took the next turn that oppressive feeling vanished and the night turned normal again.

                  

Another night and another walk alone through the almost empty streets. She hadn’t thought of that weird guy from 2 weeks ago. Though at times she had a feeling of being watched, it never was anything. Not being a paranoid person she didn’t give it any importance.

 But now she saw him again, standing extremely still like before. She was sure it was him; the same height, the same stillness accompanied by the smothering darkness. She was scared this time. What are the chances of co incidences like this? None. But again, not wanting to invite trouble she made her way through the street without stopping, and like before everything went back to normal as soon she took the next turn.

This time however she turned back. She peeked into the street to see if the man was there. That was the biggest mistake she could have done. She only saw a dark mass, darker than the night engulfing her. She did not even get the chance to scream and the last though in her mind was “I shouldn’t have turned back.”

        

मेरी उड़ान |

मन ने मेरे बुने थे सपने हज़ार

सोचा था बदलूंगी उन्हें हक़ीकत में एक बार |

दुनिया को बदलना था मुझे

छोड़ना था अपना निशां |

पंख लगा उड़ना था मुझे

छूना था ये आसमां |

सिर्फ आज नहीं कल को भी अपना बनाना था

अपने कल से बेहतर कुछ करके दिखाना था |

हिम्मत की कोई कमी न थी

थे रास्तें चलने को अनेक मेरे पास |

पर तूने मुझे चलने न दिया

मेरे पंखो को रूसर होने न दिया |

हर क़दम पर थे सवाल खड़े

हर मोड़ पर कुछ नई बाधायें |

तेरी हैवानियत का हूँ मैं सबूत

मेरे हर ज़ख्म में हैं तेरी छाप |

तेरे शोषण की वजह मेरी कमजोरी न थी

तेरी सोच का शिकार बन गयी हूँ मैं |

अब हर मोड़ पर झिझकती हूं

आगे बढ़ने से लगता है डर मुझे |

ये तेरी जीत नहीं

मेरी हिम्मत का है इम्तेहां |

हर कसौटी पर खरी उतरूंगी मैं

न कम समझ मेरी सोच की ताकत को |

तू जितने ही रूकावट ला खड़ी कर

मेरी उड़ान उन सबसे उची होगी |

मैं कटे पंखो से ही उड़ जाउंगी

एक नया रास्ता बना ही लुंगी |

असीमित है संभावनाए

हर एक है मेरे लिए संभव

हर एक है मेरे लिए संभव |

Paradise

Under the blistering sun I found the oasis I craved

It was isolated and it was abandoned

I built my paradise there!

एक कविता

शब्दों में खो जाती हैं कई बार

मन की सब रचनांए |

कागज़ स्याही पर रह जाती हैं

बस उनकी परछाईं |

Another Tale

As the night escapes, so do my dreams

Slipping through the sands of my mind 

leaving simple memories.

A hand extended, a fist of empty air

seconds pass when

I try to hold on but you disappear.

Crumpled bed sheets tell a tale,

of time spent near.

An attempt that we failed.

The story is incomplete

when it deserved a chance.

You made the decision and left

no promises made yet I

hope and I wait.

The day gives way to another night,

another chance to fight.

This story is same as others I heard before

I only wish for an ending either

perfect or sure.

The Book in the Corner

In the corner of my room is my bookshelf. It’s adorned with some of my favorites and then some which are yet to be read. I have spent days contemplating the order and time I will read these books in. Which I will revisit and which are just for collection. There is one book there which has not seen the light of day since I put it there - the dictionary.

We all have that blue cover Collins or Oxford giant in our home. At times we decide on the ‘pocket version’ which is not meant for the pocket, thinking that it’ll be easier to access and use. We hope and at times believe that the smaller the dictionary, the more it will be used. I have had a variety of dictionaries in the past 21 years ranging from the classic Hindi to English and vice versa, as well as the standard Oxford “pocket” dictionary. How many times I have actually used the dictionary as a medium of knowledge? The answer hovers somewhere near a dozen.

We usually become adept readers at the age of 12 and would have teachers constantly nagging us to use a dictionary. As a child I was never interested in even looking at a dictionary. The small amount of work and watching TV was enough to pass my day and forget about anything else. A book full of words that are difficult and weird sounding was never an attractive thing to keep myself occupied with.

If only I had paid attention, I wouldn’t have faced embarrassment of epic proportions later in higher classes. But I learnt and conquered the essentials of a dictionary and then I bought a new one. The fresh covers made it irresistible like any other new book. However unlike others it remains tucked in the corner coming out rarely. Its only use now is for the occasional glance it gets and the satisfaction that follows it.

Steps

A deep breath and a silent pause. Time stands still, anticipation roars in my ears. Seconds pass as if hours, the wait is excruciating. The moment before the start, the moment of decision, of nerves and of fear. The second to succumb or to overcome what lies ahead. A path straight or curved, an end found or lost. Then the second passes by and the overwhelming reality crashes like waves, powerful and endless. You feel small; the enormity swings you as a puppet on  strings. Your body works on automatic, mind in a whirlwind. Floundering beneath the surface. A push to take control, putting the right in front of the left. The effort is enormous as seems every advance. Another shove tries to pull you down, trembling legs  struggling for a grip in the slippery sand. The wobble gives way to stable steps. The tread turns to stride to a run. A surge of speed, quickening of breath, a feeling of elation glowing in my breast. A world in passing, a life in momentum. A burst of life, a support, a hand to hold. I hear identical steps; I feel them beside me not overtaking but aligned to mine. Distances travelled, marks made, memories created. This course is coming to an end; I see the finish line ahead. Flashes of the race, a blur behind my eyes. A desire to restart burns in my heart. But now I am here, the moment before the end. A second of eternity passes. A deep breath and a silent pause. 

Today I thought that I will write.
Put pen to paper and express myself.
Be as elusive as Eliot or as charming as Shakespeare.
Maybe try some satire, make Dryden proud.
The words flow freely making beauty.
Mingling socially, creating poetry.
Or so I had thought, I had wished.
Hoped for a muse as grand as Milton’s
Or dreams as illustrious as the Romantics.
My life unfortunately lacks the passions of politics and romance.
No empathy for others life perchance?
I tried a little rhyming here and there.
Edited the form and the verse to no end.
Still the grace of yesteryears eluded me
I found no rhythm no meaning.
The words seemed scattered and lost
Hopelessly strung as I kept on striving.
But I’m at it, I won’t give up.
Genius after all doesn’t strike over night.
I can keep fumbling through the dark
Making my way by feeling along.
What’s to lose? Some days, some nights.
But the final product will be worth this plight.
I’ll keep to the basics, all that I was taught.
Or walk the road less travelled as did Robert Frost.

SHE

It was dark and damp

Not a soul was around

The streets were empty

And there was no sound

The tiny steps were hurried

Searching for a reprieve

Peeking into every nook

Every corner was visited

The tiny hands joined

Held together to pray

The small voice pleaded

But was unheard

The silence was loud

With the ragged breathing

The fear was escalating

She could see no out

The shadows were dancing

Crowding all around

Fear was setting in

The dread was too

There was no wind

The air was sucked out 

Clouds closed in

A vault she was locked in

Her voice was gone

The screams were unheard

The pleas were ignored

Hurt it did

The pain was too much

Tears were flowing

No meaning left in them

She was left alone

A writhing mess

She was looked upon

No sympathy in the eyes

The lights danced now

A dance of fervour

Frenzy set in then

She laughed at them

Showed no weakness

Stood tall and walked

Strength in her strut

She ignored the whispers

Ignored the looks

She talked then

Let out all the truth

Called on justice

And punishment too

Her life was an aim now

Closure she needed

Wanted justice served

She was power

She was dignity

She lived and loved

She did not die

She survived