Paradise

Under the blistering sun I found the oasis I craved

It was isolated and it was abandoned

I built my paradise there!

एक कविता

शब्दों में खो जाती हैं कई बार

मन की सब रचनांए |

कागज़ स्याही पर रह जाती हैं

बस उनकी परछाईं |

Another Tale

As the night escapes, so do my dreams

Slipping through the sands of my mind 

leaving simple memories.

A hand extended, a fist of empty air

seconds pass when

I try to hold on but you disappear.

Crumpled bed sheets tell a tale,

of time spent near.

An attempt that we failed.

The story is incomplete

when it deserved a chance.

You made the decision and left

no promises made yet I

hope and I wait.

The day gives way to another night,

another chance to fight.

This story is same as others I heard before

I only wish for an ending either

perfect or sure.

The Book in the Corner

In the corner of my room is my bookshelf. It’s adorned with some of my favorites and then some which are yet to be read. I have spent days contemplating the order and time I will read these books in. Which I will revisit and which are just for collection. There is one book there which has not seen the light of day since I put it there - the dictionary.

We all have that blue cover Collins or Oxford giant in our home. At times we decide on the ‘pocket version’ which is not meant for the pocket, thinking that it’ll be easier to access and use. We hope and at times believe that the smaller the dictionary, the more it will be used. I have had a variety of dictionaries in the past 21 years ranging from the classic Hindi to English and vice versa, as well as the standard Oxford “pocket” dictionary. How many times I have actually used the dictionary as a medium of knowledge? The answer hovers somewhere near a dozen.

We usually become adept readers at the age of 12 and would have teachers constantly nagging us to use a dictionary. As a child I was never interested in even looking at a dictionary. The small amount of work and watching TV was enough to pass my day and forget about anything else. A book full of words that are difficult and weird sounding was never an attractive thing to keep myself occupied with.

If only I had paid attention, I wouldn’t have faced embarrassment of epic proportions later in higher classes. But I learnt and conquered the essentials of a dictionary and then I bought a new one. The fresh covers made it irresistible like any other new book. However unlike others it remains tucked in the corner coming out rarely. Its only use now is for the occasional glance it gets and the satisfaction that follows it.

Steps

A deep breath and a silent pause. Time stands still, anticipation roars in my ears. Seconds pass as if hours, the wait is excruciating. The moment before the start, the moment of decision, of nerves and of fear. The second to succumb or to overcome what lies ahead. A path straight or curved, an end found or lost. Then the second passes by and the overwhelming reality crashes like waves, powerful and endless. You feel small; the enormity swings you as a puppet on  strings. Your body works on automatic, mind in a whirlwind. Floundering beneath the surface. A push to take control, putting the right in front of the left. The effort is enormous as seems every advance. Another shove tries to pull you down, trembling legs  struggling for a grip in the slippery sand. The wobble gives way to stable steps. The tread turns to stride to a run. A surge of speed, quickening of breath, a feeling of elation glowing in my breast. A world in passing, a life in momentum. A burst of life, a support, a hand to hold. I hear identical steps; I feel them beside me not overtaking but aligned to mine. Distances travelled, marks made, memories created. This course is coming to an end; I see the finish line ahead. Flashes of the race, a blur behind my eyes. A desire to restart burns in my heart. But now I am here, the moment before the end. A second of eternity passes. A deep breath and a silent pause.