What should I do?

From the day that I was old enough to understand I was taught one thing 'We are all equal'. As I passed school years I formed this idea that men and women are the same. Being biologically different doesn't make us better or worse than the other. I believed this with all my heart. Then came a time when I was forced to accept that I was different and weaker in the eyes of some. I started to notice the subtle ways in which society treated men and women differently. I was confused at first but it soon turned into anger. I hate to admit any weakness, especially one which I believe I don't have. Let others think what they want but I know that I am equal to men.

You always think that if the right people support you can face anything, I thought the same too. I was disappointed. My parents might not be partial in their treatment of girls and boys but they do fall victim to the fear of the society. I have faced eve teasing and leers from strangers but never had it deterred me from living my life. The fear I sense from my parents when they learn of a rape case in the city is the only thing that could make me think twice. I hate fear, I cannot imagine living in fear but I do. Every empty street that I cross or every rowdy group of guys I pass makes me retreat into a shell hoping for the street to end and the group to pass without any mishap. How do I maintain my idea of equality in this light? 

I want to be strong and fight but I do not know how to do that when I fear for myself. I want the society to change but how do I do that when I can be the one facing the consequences? Fear is a strong factor and it is capable of shaping our lives. I don't want to let it do that and I tell every one to not let it do so as well. Do i become a hypocrite if I can't follow what I preach? I am a women and I believe I am equal to men. I just need conviction that thinking so is not something that I might regret. I am warned on my behavior, what to do and how to talk but they never ask the other to do the same. Why should I always face the brunt of rules and social dogmas? 

I don't know what I wish to do or what my final thought is about this issue. I am fearful for myself, for my sister and my friends. But I am also angry for being made a victim. How can my society claim equality when they cannot allow me to be me? I am confused and I have no clue how to work through this confusion. Do I follow the demands of my heart, of equality and freedom or do I cower with the fear that seems to surround us women every time we step out of our safe havens?